So I was at my bank this afternoon, and one of the tellers who knows me looks out the window at my car. She asks what type of radar detector that was in my windshield.
"It's an Escort X50," I said.
She got this really smug look on her face and sneered. "Oh, those are worthless."
"Really?" I asked. "Who tells you so?"
Her wrinkled, hairy lips curdled up in what passed for a grin. "My son," she said proudly. "He knows everything about cars! He even installed my radar detector! It's a Rocky Mountain Radar that can block radar and detect laser! Can YOURS detect laser?"
This woman has always been smug and snooty. I tried to slowly break the news to her that RMR products are complete scams have been condemned by the Better Business Bureau. She didn't want to hear it.
"Well, first off, laser detection is useless, and RMR products have been shown not to work -"
"Yes they do!" she jumped in. "I know they do! It goes off and blocks their radar!"
"And what evidence do you have of this?"
"Well... it goes off! That means it works! And my son says it works, and he knows EVERYTHING about cars. E V E R Y T H I N G ! He even showed me the RIGHT way to mount it - STRAIGHT UP. And he told me the police mount radar guns on some stores like Target and Home Depot and he's right because it goes off whenever I get near one!" I thought her head was going to burst with snobbiness.
I was getting annoyed with this woman. I don't know how much her son knew about cars, but if he knew as much about cars as he did about radar detectors, he didn't know much. We all know that the hits she was experiencing when she was close to a store was their motion detectors and that pointing the detector straight up is just moronic. I'd love to punch whoever thought that idea up right in the mouth. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
I shrugged. "Well, I guess if you're trying to pick up low-flying aircraft radar, I guess that's the best placement for it. Listen, I wish you luck with it, though. You'd be the first person to have an RMR product that works."
"You should call my son. He'll get you fixed up with a good radar detector."
Then, as I left, she offered a parting sentiment. "You should've gotten the V6 Mustang model. It much more modification potential. My son says so."
I rolled my eyes. "I'll be sure to trade it in as soon as possible."
This experience reminds me why I have mostly stopped trying to help people. Especially NJ chicks. 99.9% of them are snobby, self-righteous, ignorant, turn everything into a contest, most of them are getting fat, they SMOKE (yeah, I love kissing mouths that taste like crusty ashtrays), they get drunk and fall all over the place (real attractive), and all they care about is getting tan and what you can buy them. They're mouthy (oh wait, I meant "empowered"), and they think the world revolves around them. Selfish, jealous, and possessive. Ugh. I get sick thinking about it. I can't wait to get the hell out of this state.
Thank God my g/f lived in Virginia most of her life.