Hot off the presses, and fresh to your computers:
New detector announced that makes your car invisible to all means of detection!
EL PASO, TX -
Brand X Electronics today announced their new IKNC-E450 radar detector/scrambler, the first that makes you completely invisible to all means of detection.
Kris Rool, owner of Brand X Electronics, was visibily excited to announce the new IKNC line of products.
"Thanks to a revolutionary new advance in technology, we've invented a detector that makes your car invisible to radar, lidar, VG-2, and Spectre, and we're able to offer it at half the price of competing top-tier detectors. Best of all, however, is that this detector not only makes you invisible to electronic detection, but also to VASCAR."
The way the detector does this, Rool said, was through the use of formerly top-secret technology gained from Brand X's business alignment with the Klingon Empire.
"The Great Emperor has been a wonderful assistance to us throughout development of the IKNC-E450," said Rool, "providing us with the means necessary to build a cloaking device at a fraction of the price our interstellar competitors were charging. With this technology, our IKNC-E450 gives you an impenitrable line of defense against all means of electronic detection, VASCAR, and the naked eye of police officers. It is literally a 'ticket to speed.'"
When approached with concerns that fleets of invisible cars driving at obscene speeds could kill hundreds of thousands, Rooal seemed dismissive.
"Our products are not inteded to promote unsafe driving. We merely provide these detectors as a service to motorists who might drive a little faster than the legal limits sometimes, and need that friendly reminder to make sure they're being safe."
A reporter pointed out to Rool that he had just described the IKNC-E450 as a "ticket to speed," but that reporter was vaporized by a shot from the Great Klingon Emperor's blaster. The question-and-answer session came to an abrupt end afterwards.
Karl Force is the president of Radar Measurement Facilities, an independent testing firm for radar detectors.
"I'm pleased to report that the IKNC-E450 is by far the most accurate radar detector ever," Force said, "and it works exactly as described."
Force then turned to Rool, who handed him a check believed to be in the amount of $50,000. Force then left the stage without taking any questions.
Rool announced that the IKNC-E450 will be marketed publicly as the IKNC Uranus, and will carry a MSRP of $349.99. A smaller version, the IKNC Uranus II, will have only the cloaking device and not the detector. It will retail for $249.99, but Rool cautioned that the Uranus II should always be used with a top-of-the-line detector.
"A cloaking device does you no good if you don't know who you're cloaking, so we strongly recommend buying the IKNC Uranus, however the IKNC Uranus II is compatible with the entire Brand X line."